Off Topic... ish: Holmes Pastiches

For your viewing enjoyment, I present to you:

The Top Ten Things in Holmes Pastiches that Bother Me the Most* :

In no particular order:

1. Anachronisms: These really are easily avoidable, so when Holmes pastiches use a word that would not have been in usage in Victorian England or make reference to a machine not yet invented, it is quite bothersome.

2. Americanisms: Also a mistake that is incredibly avoidable, and, one would think, hard to commit is using American English rather than British English. Even I, who have never even been to England, know better than to refer to braces as suspenders or call autumn fall.

3. Marrying Off Holmes** : Holmes just isn’t a marrying man. We all know it. He does not like women. It is therefore highly unlikely that he’s going to go get hitched to whoever you shove at him. No, not even to Irene Adler. Which brings me to my next pet peeve…

4. Godfrey Norton Bashing: Look, I know you all want Irene to be happily husband free so that she and Holmes can have lots of sleuthing babies, but nowhere in canon is it ever implied that Godfrey Norton is a cad or a sadist or anything but a man who loves his wife and whose wife loves him. Sorry to burst your bubbles.***

5. Crossovers/Guest Appearances: Yeah, I know that you’re thinking, “Wouldn’t it be awesome if Holmes met insert fictional character or historical figure here” No. No it wouldn’t. It would be stupid.****

6. Referring to Holmes’s Cocaine as “Seven Percent Solution": This seems a bit nitpicky, yes, but it is a massive pet peeve of mine. Watson refers to the cocaine as cocaine and only as cocaine. Holmes mentions once and only once that the cocaine that he happens to be using at the beginning of The Sign of Four is a seven percent solution. That does not mean that all of his cocaine is seven percent solution and that does not mean that is acceptable to think them interchangeable. Because it sounds stupid. Fact.

7. Messing up Dates: Yes, I know that Watson’s chronology is famously bad, so there can be some lee-way. Just try to refrain from saying that a case happened in, say, January of 1892, because at that point Holmes was “dead.” Speaking of which…

8. Hiatus Stories: We are all curious as to what Holmes did during those famous three years. But part of the joy of the Hiatus is that it is a variable, an unknown. I prefer to leave it as such. Also, it doesn’t feel like a real Holmes story if it takes place in Norway and Watson isn’t there. I don’t care how good your writing is, it doesn’t feel like Holmes.

9. Botching Major Canonical Happenings: Don’t just completely disregard canon. It’s annoying, and makes me want to hurl the book at a wall. And, last but in no way least…

10. Going Overboard with Crazy Speculations: This is something that Sherlockians are almost all guilty of. I have read the most outrageous theories (Moriarty was a woman? He married her after Riechenbech? Watson was a woman? After the Hiatus, "Holmes" was just Moriarty in disguise?) about the Holmes canon, or, more specifically what wasn’t told in Holmes canon. Give it a rest. Watson wasn’t completely full of crap.

*Ten biggest pet peeves, but by no means my only ones.

**Yes, Laurie R. King, I am talking to you.

***Yes, Baker Street Irregulars, I am most definitely talking to you.

****This isn’t entirely true. I’m talking about published Holmes pastiche here. Crossovers, in my opinion, are far better suited to online or fanzine fanfiction than they are to published pastiche.

Heavy: Episode 16

Heavy:

In this episode we see Vogler talking to the Ducklings, trying to get them to betray House.
Vogler's sneakiness is highly reminiscent of Moriarty: he's donated big bucks to the hospital, so everyone's on his side, leaving him to crusade against House. Like Moriarty's math professor mask.

Cameron calls House an "Angry, misanthropic son of a bitch," which is definitely something that could apply to Holmes.

When House needs his team to give him anything, any diagnoses, anything to help him think of an idea, its very like Holmes bouncing ideas off of Watson and various Scotland Yarders.

Mob Rules: Episode 15

Mob Rules:

I have absolutely nothing related to House and Holmes, but I do have an off topic observation:

For all you galactic hitchhikers, the thing in the clinic with the kid sticking a toy policeman, fireman, and firetruck up his nose to rescue the toy cat already up there is a perfect, if somewhat metaphorical, example of Beeblebrox's Gambit.

Control: Episode 14

Control:

This episode introduces Vogler, who will become the Moriarty figure of this season.

This episode also shows that House will risk his medical license and just about everything about his life, for a single patient. Because he feels it's right.
Holmes will do this too: he'll burgle a house or perform various other illegal feats, not to mention risking his life, in order to protect the honor and life of his clients. Because he feels it's right.

"You value our friendship more than you value your ethical responsibilities," House tells Wilson in this episode.
And so Watson will risk ethical responsibilities for his friendship with Holmes. Take, for example, in CHAS, when Watson cheerfully accompanies Holmes in a spot of highly illegal housebreaking.

I like the confrontation between House and Vogler at the end: reminds me very much of Moriarty and Holmes in FINA. The way they're both threatening without actually concretely confronting each other and both are very secure in the power they believe they hold over one another.

Off Topic: Movie

For all you Holmesians out there...

Guy Ritchie is making a Holmes movie, starring Robert Downey Junior as Holmes, Jude Law as Watson, and Rachel McAdams as Mrs Norton... well, she's Miss Adler in this film, actually...

And lookie! A trailer!

From the point of view of a Sherlockian purist, this looks absolutely horrifyingly canon-killing...
But the part of me that just wants mindless explosions and Jude Law in uniform thinks it's cool!

I'm afraid the first bit is winning out, though...
Eh, but who knows. Maybe it'll be so incredibly terrible that it cycles round to funny...

Cursed: Episode 13

Cursed:

This episode sets the stage for something that will show up in many episodes to come: House doesn't like big donors to the hospital.
That is because House doesn't like the rich.
He is always more contemptuous and mocking of the rich (especially Chase).

Much like Holmes:
Holmes believed that, "Some of you rich men have to be taught that all the world cannot be bribed into condoning your offenses (THOR)."
In SCAN, he is dismissive and contemptuous to the King of Bohemia, and NOBL he is downright rude to Lord St. Simon.

Hmm.... I might have to copy-paste the above bit into my Holmes-House post (nope, I'm not cheating at all! Just... sort of...totally cheating.)

House says he wants to know why Chase hates his Dad not because he cares, but because he just wants to know stuff. Rather Holmesian, n'est ce pas?

The Ducklings!

House-Holmes, Wilson-Watson, and Moriarty got their own posts, its only fair that the Team should get theirs, too.

House's team used to be comprised of Drs Allison Cameron, Robert Chase, and Eric Foreman, and until very recently contained Drs Remy Hadley (Thirteen), Chris Taub, Lawrence Kutner, and Foreman.

House's team, called by some fans his Ducklings, serve many different roles for House.
In differential diagnoses sessions, they are his Watson: their less than brilliant ideas give House something to work with, and the cryptic metaphors he directs towards them give him a way to sort out what he thinks about a case. They are a sounding board. They are Watson.

However, in the treatment of the patients, they are more like the Irregulars: they run errands, perform operations, administer treatments, intimidate patients, and act as general eyes and ears, so House doesn't have to actually interact with any patients.

Sports Medicine: Episode 12

Sports Medicine:

House diagnosing all the clinic patients in the waiting room is just brilliant, and so completely Holmes-ish!

"Your powers of deduction are breathtaking." Sarcastic Holmes references? Well played, Cuddy. Well played.

Once again in this episode, House shows a blatant disregard for the feelings and comfort of his patient. Holmes is similarly unfeeling towards his client's preferences.

House trying to prove to Wilson that he has other friends is adorable because it's pathetic. Very very pathetic. Wilson is obviously House's only friend, as Watson is Holmes'.

Detox: Episode 11

Detox:

House jonesing for Vicodin is always interesting, and I, for one, do not hold with those in-denial enough to claim Holmes is not addicted to his cocaine.

Speaking of denial, Holmes and House both seem to honestly believe that they aren't addicted. House's pain excuse is almost as pathetic as Holmes' excuse of boredom. At least in this episode House admits to his addiction...

I like Wilson getting a chance to deduce back at House, after House breaks his hand.

This episode marks the first time House is attacked by a patient/ patient relative!
While Holmes has never been attacked by a client, relatives (like Grimesby Roylott of SPEC) and various others have threatened him.

Histories: Episode 10

Histories:

House is perfectly comfortable with tasting the patient's days-old vomit. Ew. But that does sound like something Holmes would do, anything for science, and etc...

Also:
"I'm competitive by nature," says House. Who does that remind you of?

This is also the episode where we learn about Wilson's brother, a development that interested me very much, knowing Watson's fraternal history.

DNR: Episode 9

DNR:

First of all, House is obviously a bit of a fan-boy of the patient in question (John Henry Giles), which is nice, because House's devotion to music just isn't played with enough.

Speaking of which, towards the beginning of the episode, Foreman finds House lying on the carpet of his office, listening to jazzy music and zoning out, his eyes closed, face peacefully relaxed, and his hand waving in the air, keeping time with the music.

Which seems to me very very similar to Watson's description of Holmes at a concert in REDH:

"All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness, gently waving his long, thin fingers in time to the music, while his gently smiling face and his languid, dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes, the sleuth-hound, Holmes the relentless, keen-witted, ready-handed criminal agent, as it was possible to conceive."

I also think that John Henry Giles' point about how manically talented people like House and Giles will never have a normal life but can always have genius instead is very true, and also very pertinent to Holmes. A normal, trouble-less, boring life would be utterly out of the question for Holmes; he would rather be miserable but not bored. Holmes doesn't want a normal life, he has his genius and he has his cases and he has his Watson. Same goes for House. He doesn't want normalcy, he wants his genius and cases and Wilson.

Side Note: I was very pleased to see a Princeton Record Exchange bag make an appearance in this episode; someone's been doing their research on the setting of this show!

Poison: Episode 8

Poison:

...

I've got nothing.

Sad isn't it?

Yeah, it's sad...

Fidelity: Episode 7

Fidelity:

This episode begins with marital difficulties, a theme that runs roughshod over the Holmes canon (Take, for example, Watson's treatment of his own wife, forever abandoning her to go gallivanting off with Holmes. Also, a large amount of cases include unhappy marriages, relationships, and engagements.)

House later states, that he, "didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be unusually irritable."
Leading Cameron to tell him that he's a, "misanthrope, not a misogynist."
But he's damn well close enough, and Holmes certainly is.

He goes on to call Wilson in for a consult on a clinic patient with large, recently plastic-surgery created breasts, claiming that Wilson is, "somewhat of an expert in these matters."
Which somewhat reminded me of Holmes saying (in SECO) that the "fair sex is [Watson's] department."

Wilson: You can be a real jerk sometimes, you know that?
H: And you're the good guy.
W: At least I try.

This seems to me to be a neat sum up of not only House and Wilson but Holmes and Watson. Wilson and Watson try to be the good guy and are accepted by others to be the good guy, but are willing to sacrifice morals for the sakes of Houses' and Holmes' schemes. House and Holmes, however, have realized that if they simply don't try to be good, they can say and do whatever they want.

The Socratic Method: Episode 6

The Socratic Method:

First of all: Happy birthday, House! Enjoy a pickle-less imaginary birthday dinner in your festive hat!

Next, and more on topic:
When House is going on about how wonderful schizophrenics/lunatics in general are, leading Chase to say this:
Chase: They [crazy people] aren't boring. He [House] likes that.

It very much reminded me of Holmes saying that, "...there are always some lunatics about. It would be a dull world without them." (3GAB)

And, also:
Wilson: Didn't we just leave your office?
House: I like to walk.

I seem to remember Holmes pacing when he thinks, too... Ah, yes! STUD, chapter 7: "'It can't be a coincidence,' he cried, at last springing from his chair and pacing wildly up and down the room."

And in SCAN: "I saw his tall, spare figure pass twice in a dark silhouette against the blind. He was pacing the room swiftly, eagerly, with his head sunk upon his chest and his hands clasped behind him. To me, who knew his every mood and habit, his attitude and manner told their own story. He was at work again."

And in REIG: "We found Holmes pacing up and down in the field, his chin sunk upon his breast, and his hands thrust into his trousers pockets."

Well, that's it for Socratic Method

Damned if You Do: Episode 5

Damned if You Do similarities include:

House and the Santa clinic patient:
House: Let me guess. Inflammatory bowel.
Clinic Patient: Wow yeah. Is it that bad?
H: Yes. It's also written on your chart.

House may be able to deduce things from a glance, but he isn't above "cheating." Neither is Holmes, of course.

Take, for example, in the first chapter of Hound of the Baskervilles, when Watson is studying a walking stick, left by a client:
“Well, Watson, what do you make of it?”
Holmes was sitting with his back to me, and I had given him no sign of my occupation.
“How did you know what I was doing? I believe you have eyes in the back of your head.”
“I have, at least, a well-polished, silver-plated coffee-pot in front of me,”

I like to think that in the musical montage at the end, when House is playing the piano, Wilson is there. After all, Holmes played violin for Watson...

Off topic: Star Trek

This is utterly OT, but I simply must share.
I was looking for a neat Spock quote when I discovered this bit of dialogue from Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country:

[Watching a replay of the torpedo hit]

Commander Pavel Chekov: It is Enterprise. We fired.

Captain Montgomery 'Scotty' Scott: That is not possible! All weapons visually accounted for, sir.

Captain Spock: An ancestor of mine maintained that when you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. If we did not fire those torpedoes, another ship did.

"When you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth," is a word-for-word Holmes quote (SIGN, chapter 6)
You all know what this means, right?
Spock is descended from Holmes! (On his human side, one would have to assume. Although a Vulcan Holmes would be neat...)
Was this common knowledge that I missed out on or something?

So yes, very very off-topic.
But I swear I'll get right back to work, now

Maternity: Episode 4

Thoughts on Maternity:

House's humoring of Cuddy wanting to swab everything in the hospital reminds me rather of all the times Holmes solves the mystery on his own, but lets Lestrade keep bungling, because it's easier that way. Also, power to Cuddy for cutting Tie-Clip-Guy's tie off!

Patient: I'm on a birth control implant!
H: I know. I saw the scar.
Huzzah for seeing, observing, deducing, and lording it over all others!

Occam's Razor: Episode 3

Rewatching Occam's Razor yielded a couple similarities:

The Ducklings' little conversation along the lines of:
Cam: His insane ideas are usually right...
Chase: He thinks outside the box, is that so evil?
Foreman: He has no idea where the box is!

Sounds a bit to me like Watson's exchange with Lestrade in REIG:

"I don't think you need alarm yourself," said I. "I have usually found that there was method in his madness."
"Some folks might say there was madness in his method," muttered the Inspector.

Also, House vs Cuddy over a clinic patient with a sore throat:
C: [to patient] you have a sore throat.
H: He said it hurt... I should've deduced that it was sore!
Deduce away, House, deduce away.

Also also, every time House deduces everything about a clinic patient from merely a glance (done twice-ish in this episode, maybe three?), I get little Holmes related shivers down my spine.

And just to pound home the "they're both arrogant bastards" point, we have:
H: Make a note. I should never doubt myself
W: I think you'll remember that.

Which is comparable to:

"My dear Watson," said he, "I cannot agree with those who rank modesty among the virtues. To the logician all things should be seen exactly as they are, and to underestimate one's self is as much a departure from truth as to exaggerate one's own powers." (from GREE)

Paternity: Episode 2

In re-watching Paternity, just about all the similarities I can come up with are:

When House is in the clinic with "Boy-who-sued-wolf dude", the conversation goes a bit like:
House: It's infected. With a really big hole, like you stuck a nail in it to relieve pressure
Patient: I wouldn't do that
House: Although the wound is irregular; it's not cylindrical, it's shaped like a triangle, so.... steak knife?
Patient: Wife's nail file.
So, House, do they teach you to recognize and deduce the shape of a poky thing in medical school? Or are you just channeling Holmes? (I think he's channeling Holmes. But hey, it's my job to think he's channeling Holmes.)

Also, Holmes sure as hell didn't hit on his employees/Irregulars! Score one for Victorian politeness over caustic sarcasm. (Yet the caustic rudeness is so fun!)

By popular(ish) demand, I give you: Moriarty!

It was brought to my attention that I did not devise a House counterpart for Professor Moriarty, the arch enemy of Holmes, who "kills" Holmes at Reichenbech.

A grievous error.

However, when considering the problem of Moriarty, one must keep in mind that House is a TV show. There are seasons, and each season has its overall arc. Which means there's pretty much a new arch enemy for each season.

So House's Moriarty could be Vogler, could be Tritter, could even be another side of House's twisted psyche.

Or, hey, he could just be the gunman who shoots House in No Reason, unnamed throughout the episode, but revealed in the credits to be named--you guessed it--Moriarty.

But if he's manning the guns, wouldn't he be Moran?

Episode the First

In the Pilot episode, the patient's name is Adler!

This is, I think, what made me go, "Well, I'm gonna watch this show!"
It started and House was being snarky and Wilson was being cute the patient's name was ADLER and I was hooked...

Adler as in Irene Adler (married name, Norton) of SCAN, the only woman to have beat Holmes, and his most widely accepted (female) love interest (although I personally think this theory ridiculous).

Irene crops up in a later episode, but I will touch on that later.

Wilson-Watson

Wilson & Watson:
Both the sole friends of tortured, snarky, geniuses, Watson and Wilson are truly the most long suffering of individuals. Besides both having names consisting of "W--son," they are both doctors, both tend to nag, and both despair of drug use.

Another large similarity is in their brothers: One of Wilson's two brothers, Daniel, disappeared years and years ago, forgoing the medication that provided him with mental stability. He was homeless and untraced until one of the more recent episodes (The Social Contract). In SIGN, Watson gives Holmes a watch to see what deductions might be gleaned from it. Holmes remarks that it was Watson's father's, before being passed to his elder brother, of whom he says, "he was a man of untidy habits,--very untidy and careless. He was left with good prospects, but he threw away his chances, lived for some time in poverty with occasional short intervals of prosperity, and finally, taking to drink, he died. That is all I can gather." Watson is offended and horrified at what he believes to be a cruel joke at his brothers expense, but Holmes quickly unfolds his chain of deduction, putting Watson back at ease. Both Watson and Wilson had an errant, unhealthy brother whose memory saddened them for some time.

Wilson and Watson are both rumored to be quite accomplished ladies men. Wilson has been married three times, and has no end of flirtatious nurses with which to work. The number of Watson's wives can never be quite pinned down: some people maintain as many as five or as few as none. (I personally think two: Mary Morstan and the post-haitus wife briefly alluded to, though not by name) In SIGN, speaking of Miss Morstan, Watson is able to claim that, "In an experience of women which extends over many nations and three separate continents, I have never looked upon a face which gave a clearer promise of a refined and sensitive nature." Three continents! That's impressive! Holmes also refers to the fair sex as Watson's department, perhaps a touch mockingly.

There is also that Wilson and House lived together for Season Two (Watson and Holmes were flatmates). I kept expecting Mrs. Hudson to barge in and offer tea...

Actually, I do believe that Robert Sean Leonard ultimately decided to be in House because he is a huge Holmes fan.

Quote time!

• "I am the most incurably lazy devil that ever stood in shoe leather — that is, when the fit is on me, for I can be spry enough at times," says Holmes in STUD. This is the same sort of principle that dictates House's principle of working when he has a case, then playing gameboy and watching soaps rather than go anywhere near the clinic.

Side note: About the soap operas and video games: a guilty pleasure somewhat out of character for a genius, am I right?
Well, Holmes read the agony columns in the newspapers!

• "Viewing the matter as an abstract problem, I had forgotten how personal and painful a thing it might be to you," (from SIGN) this almost seems like something House would say, if not for the fact that it is an apology! House often harries parents/friends/everyone grieving over their dying family member, with no regard for their personal feelings.

• Stamford, who introduces Holmes and Watson and promptly disappears, never to be seen again, says this of Holmes, "He is not a man that is easy to draw out, though he can be communicative enough when the fancy seizes him." In other words, he won't talk unless it's about something he's interested in. Like Cuddy's brea--LIKE CASES! Yep, meant to say cases...

• "There was a world of sarcasm in his voice as he spoke." Tee hee! Poor, long-suffering Watson

221B

In the episode Hunting, we are able to clearly see (over Wilson's shoulder) that House's address is 221B. Needless to say, I squeeeed with joy after seeing that episode. We are not, however, treated with a street name for the good doctor. But I'm thinking Baker Street. Is anyone else thinking Baker Street? Yeah, that's what I thought. The Holmes picture over there is from Granada's delightful series with the wonderful Jeremy Brett. If you haven't seen it, I'd check it out. Holmesians have a sort of love-hate relationship with Jeremy's Holmes, in that they either love him to bits or hate his guts... And yeah, that was very off topic.

House-Holmes

House & Holmes:
Both Dr. House and Mr. Holmes (I always thought they should've knighted him, Mister sounds so anticlimactic for a master detective...) are bad-tempered geniuses (or is it genuii?) with a penchant for logic. Sherlock played the violin and indulged in cocaine, while Gregory favours piano and vicodin. Both are quick to deny addiction to their drugs of choice; Holmes maintains that he is merely escaping all encompassing ennui and House's excuse is his pain.

Both of their jobs involve solving the puzzle that no one else can solve, catching the culprit, seeing what no one else can see, or rather, what everyone else "sees, but does not observe (SCAN)." They both are unbelievably arrogant and both call even their closest friends by their last names.

Both can be witty, condescending and sometimes outright rude, and both are loathe to speak of personal feelings or personal/family relationships.
They can tell an awful lot about someone from merely a glance, and they both love to toss out this information in a great deluge of should-be-unknown information, baffling the subject of their deductions.

House, a doctor, is based on Holmes who, in turn, is based on Doctor Joseph Bell.

They are also both shameless exhibitionists:
House prefers to confront patients with showy accusations, claim sudden epiphanies, and utilize wildly unnecessary diagnostic techniques rather than share his chain of logic with his team.
Holmes never confides to Watson his thoughts on cases, preferring to solve them amid great drama and mystery and wait until later to sort out the minutia of how he reached his conclusions. In fact, he vouches in NAVA that, "Watson here will tell you that I never can resist a touch of the dramatic."

They both also dislike the rich:
House doesn't like big donors to the hospital, because House doesn't like the rich.
He is always more contemptuous and mocking of the rich (especially Chase).

Much like Holmes:
Holmes believed that, "Some of you rich men have to be taught that all the world cannot be bribed into condoning your offenses (THOR)."
In SCAN, he is dismissive and contemptuous to the King of Bohemia, and NOBL he is downright rude to Lord St. Simon.

Characters

So first thing to do is set up which character represents which.

• House is, obviously, Holmes. Holmes and Homes are homophones and a House is certainly a type of Home.
• In a friendly, emotional way, Wilson is Watson: House's only friend, who lectures about his health and pays for his food.
• However, in a purely professional way, House's team (Cameron, Chase, Foreman, Thirteen, Taub, Kutner) is Watson: they are there to provide okay hypothesis so that he can find a great one.
• I like to think the team is his Irregulars, though, cause its cuter.
  
• Cuddy is Lestrade, or Scotland Yard in general. She always wants to do things the conventional way, she is as close to authority as House has.
  
• Actually, the whole hospital is sort of Scotland Yard in that it does things the normal way and need the aid of House to use his unconventional methods to solve the cases that stump them. In fact, I have always thought that part of what makes Holmes so successful is that he can do the unconventional and not get held up with bureaucracy and the need for warrants. The same goes for House: the hospital lets him do whatever he wants because that freedom, combined with his genius, allows him to do the things that no other doctor can.
  

That's just about everyone!

Welcome!

Hi! I'm Sylvie and this is a blog about the similarities between Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Gregory House.
I was into Holmes for a long time before I discovered House, and then only because Wikipedia, my father, and various other people recommended it for its Sherlockian background. So I checked it out and got hooked.
I was, however, disheartened in talking to other House fans in realizing that I was alone in my fascination with the similarities between the Master Detective and the good doctor.
So I decided to scour the internet for like minded people, and what better way to do than to start a blog?
EDIT: I will be using the generally accepted canon abbreviations for the stories, that can be found here
EDIT 2: If you wish to find the complete canon online, Camden House is your best place, as it contains all the original illustrations in addition to the text and is quite easy to navigate.